Crossroads

I wonder I wonder
Between coffee or tea
Between conformity and liberty
Whether black or white

I think Janus has cursed me
To ponder and wonder
Which is good and which is better.

Green

Old green dagger stabs the bright young star,
Her shine flickers like fireflies of the Bayou,
Gasping for air, for substance, for reason, vacuum-sucked
She did not expect from this wide side space to be ruthless,
Her feelings reciprocated with jabs and punches of malice.

The melancholic realisation when all she wanted was,
to share her warmth with the cold empty spaces,
the somber thought that she just wanted,
to lighten up the empty craters of many lives,

 Filling it with hot orange passion but accompanied with rage,
Dissipating the once humbled dream with bitter cognition,
The barren land was a product of it's own.

Post Mortem Memory

Rain falls to the ground, as the masses weep and cleared their throats.
As the coffin lay bare, the sight of the white figure, draped in cloth pure of white, stings my eyes.
The empty, hollow carcass of a human once filled with life and joy and sorrow, with eyes closed shut, one would think she's asleep.
Lips, which used to move to form words and sentences, shut like the bars of a prison cell, seemed content with it's state.

Looked at her from afar. Even in death, an air of grandeur radiates around her.
I know not of her history, but I can tell it was rich.
The wrinkles and scars tells as much. 
A rich story, one that I would have loved to hear about

I shifted my gaze to the rest of the crowd. Most were mourning. Relatives, perhaps.
Others were grim-faced, as only grim expressions are allowed in a funeral. It is death, after all.
But a few caught my eyes, the ones with the masked expression.
They appeared to be grieving, consoling the honest ones, even. But the glint in their eyes could not be hidden, the look of joy and triumph.

It appears the lady in white has, or should I say, had, a few treasures in her possession, gathered throughout her journeys and adventures.
To say it was only a generous amount would be outrageous, given the reception held.
Ah, no wonder, the masked ones are actually masked vultures. 
Leeches out to get the vulnerable wealth.
With no apparent heir, it's no wonder these hungry beasts are so eager to please.

It amuses me a little, for even a person such as myself,
who barely knew this women, would come to mourn and regret her passing.
While these ingrates are just waiting for the will to be read,
driven by the beast called greed.

As the sky darkens, it made me wonder, what would the dead have felt,
if only they knew that this is how the living are acting?
Would they be sad? Would they be happy? 
Would they even expected this kind of reaction?

It also made me wonder, what if, god-forbids,that I should die tomorrow?
Will there be grievers? Those who would have missed my presence,
those who have loved and be loved by me.
Or will there be those who cheers and laugh? 
The ones who would spit on my grave, happy of my demise.
Or will there be the ones with no emotions? 
The people whose lives I failed to touch, to make my presence known. The indifferent.
The last bit was the worst, in my opinion.
It sent chills throughout my body just thinking about it.

Memories are important. 
They are the proof that you once existed.
Friends, foes, it matters not.
The mistakes you've made, the live you touched, people will remember it.
As humans, we are dependent of these things.
Dependent on acknowledgement, to say that we once lived. 
Only then can living be worthwhile.

As I ponder these thoughts, the clouds begin to part,
revealing the blue sky, with the majestic yellow ball of ray we call the Sun.
Coincidentally, the reception ended at the same time.
I readied myself to leave, as I am not needed for the will recital.

As I make my way to the exit gate, 
I see the vultures, rather hurriedly, making their way to the recital.
I made a silent prayer and gave my final respect in silence and swung the gates to exit myself.
Loud shouts and groans came from the direction of the recital. 
Angry protests could be heard even from here.

With a smirk and a heart full of amusement,
I closed the gate behind to continue this journey we call life.

The End.

The Decisive Moment

        The ballots have been cast. To those who have done their social responsibility by voting today, kudos to you for caring about your country. To those who didn't and couldn't, such as myself, don't fret. The next will always be there.... Unless the world ends before that, then shit happens. All we need to do now is wait. Wait to see whether those who we vote wins, wait to see if our favourite party wins, and most importantly, who will lead and govern us for the next 5 years.


         Today's voting day went pretty smoothly. No fights, no interruptions except for the foreign and phantom voters issue. Personally, I find it stupid for whichever sides that chose to utilize these underhanded tactics. Are you afraid that you will lose? Does the integrity of the election must be compromised because of YOUR lust for power? Keep in mind, this country and it's citizen are not stupid. Democracy is what this country stands for. WE, the rakyat, are the ones who are suppose to vote for OUR government. The act of putting the decision to these foreigner is just an insult to our face. I do believe on the concept of Qada' & Qadar, which also means what goes, comes around. If you do win due to these tactics, it's a hollow win. You jeopardized your own country's future. The blame will be on you.


          Also on the matter of foreign voters, I do not blame them. Some come from countries that are poor and in need of financial aid. When a golden opportunity like this, to be given free citizenship and money in exchange of voting for them, who would deny it? The act of human desperation are well justified. Who I blame here are to parties: the one who employed the tactics, and the one who blindly accuse them and threaten them. I've read on how the so-called "prihatin" voters humiliate them, mock them with words of insult, treating them like they are less than dirt. Where is our humanity? Some even had mistaken our own people as a foreigner just because of his race and skin colour. That is blatant racism I till you! Some has raised their voice on this matter, on how it is wrong to act like this. Kudos to you ladies and gents, for you have spoken like a true civilised person. We want to be treated with respect, so we must first respect!


        The results are coming in around 8.00 pm. I will be on Twitter for the live telecast. Pray that we are rewarded with a clean result, one that was done with the utmost integrity and free from corruption. May the results be what the people truly wants, and for those who feel that they have lost, one word for you guys: ADAPT. We can't always get what we want, but we most certainly can thrive to achieve it. Maybe on the next General Election you could get. I pray for future of my people and hope our country will flourish like never before. And to the future government, don't mess up.


We'll be watching.


Ciao.

Is It Worth It?

      The 13th General Election. Such a hot topic now in Malaysia. Everywhere they are countless political parties flags being hanged. I can say that the enthusiasm of the parties are quite high. As a non-voter, I can feel the spirit cast by the supports.


       Though that seems like a pleasant image, what I'm worried about is the state of peace in this country. Tensions are high. Not even 5 minutes on Facebook or Twitter where you won't see a political post. Supporters from both sides, who were friends(or used to be), bashing each other over who's side is superior. Countless videos being circulated on the wide web, slander being out forth to demean the other party. Is this what we want? Disharmony and discord?


       We wanted a fair election, but look now. Already there are fights breaking out all over the country, most of them done by thugs, who I undoubtedly believe, having been paid by BOTH side of the contending party. Yes, I said it, BOTH sides. It would be a stupidly, immature and naively thing to believe that only one side are instigating this incidents. The prize is power, power over a country that has great potential to improve and progress to international recognition level. Who wouldn't be desperate enough to do anything, even disrupting peace, if greed and power-hungry are the coals to their ambition.


        I see posts and comments, calling those who vote Party X are stupid, dumb, brainwashed and ungrateful while another said Party Y are corrupt, power-hungry, idiots, oppressive and selfish. Friendships and kinship being broken, and for what? A political party? Yes, it is your right to choose a party that best represents your believe, but thread carefully. Do not condemn others of their choice. If you do not agree with any of their points, make a civilised and mature conversation. Fight with facts, not just using your emotion. God gave you brains, use it well. Otherwise you wouldn't be any different than from a neanderthal.


        One of the thing that bugs me the most are the race card. Oh my god, how that annoys and infuriates me. And trust me, both of them uses it. Feeding everyone racist sentiments just to bolster your own support. That is dishonesty, in my book. You claim and preach about unity, yet you divide. Being Malaysian means respecting other races, not just your own. Use that card to promote unity. I won't comment on the Bumiputera vs non-Bumiputera issue, because I am a torn man. Let this be sort out by those who knows these things best.


         Let's say this party X wins this election, with all this fighting and feelings of malice, disharmony, paranoia, was all the campaigning worth it? Is it worth destroying the peace we had, however fragile that was, just because you wanted power. This applies to both sides, you know. Using fear might be a good way to win, but maintaining power using it is a hell of a job. That's how rebellion starts, you know.


         Alas, these are my two cents. If you agree, good. If you don't well, that's your view. If you disagree with me, feel free to leave a reasonable reason and comment. For those who are voting and have decided on who to vote, be safe. Those who still can't vote, like me, there's always next time. In Shaa Allah.


Till next time.

Ciao.

The Ungrateful Son

        A son asked his mother to buy his tickets for his trip back from campus online. After having bought the tickets, the mother gave him the ticket reference ID for him to print it himself. After looking at it and about ready to print it, the son became mad. The ticket had all the right details. His name, departure date, return date. The only thing he wasn't satisfied was the seat and coach. Mind you, he told his mother to buy a train ticket.

       Now, trains have this 3 types of coaches. The first type is the second-class couch, where the seats are quite packed, and the cheapest. The second type is the first-class bunker, where the whole coach is made up of bunker beds, about 20 beds on each side. The last coach is the first-class seats, where you have more leg space and is considerably much more comfortable compared to the second-class seats. And also the most expensive.

       Now the issue here is that the son wanted to take the bunker coach. He wishes to lay-around, snooze for a bit, and when he saw the ticket, it's not what he wanted. He felt hot inside. Anger swelling. He wanted to tell his mother, complain to her on why she bought the wrong ticket. But then it dawned to him. Why must he complain about something that his mother gave him? She bought it for him, when HE himself requested her using HER money. He realised that he didn't even told her which seat he wanted anyway. A mother love knows no bound. He looked at the ticket again and saw the couch: it was the First-Class Seat. His own mother, without him telling her which coach to buy, bought the most expensive one just for him. He felt ashamed.

      "How could I?" he asked himself. Why did he, even if it was just for a moment, felt such anger? He realised that he has this unkindly trait of being ungrateful. Has his heart become dark? Even to his own mother? These are the questions he asked. He quickly compose himself and thank his mother. He knows that he was wrong. He felt humbled by this event, however minor of an event it is. Thus, he learned a valuable lesson on gratitude: you may not get what you wanted, but sometimes you may get something better.

       
And that son, ladies and gentlemen, was me.

Ciao.

The Unsolved Payment

Today, after 2 weeks, I finally met the treasury department about a certain payment. A payment that has been put on hold for almost 1 year. After giving the clerk all the details last two weeks, I came up to her today and wanted to see the progress. Lucky that I did. Apparently they need more stuff to verify before the payment can commence. Me, being tired of handling this thing any longer than it should, just nodded and went on my way. After brainstorm on various of solving the problem(forging signatures, collecting old forms), I finally can see the perfect plan. Only thing standing my way is to implement the plan. Hopefully its the last.

Man, isn't it tiresome handling this thing. For almost a year this payment have not gone through and all because of bad management. I admit I have contributed to this mess but the thing is, now I know who I should not give the responsibility on handling this payment. This could have been settled if it weren't for that person meddling in this business. Now I'm out so please, let the demons of the past stay in the past.

That's all for this time. Till next we meet.

Ciao